12hours of admitted to hosp...again the same sickness :(

actually ada few draft stories yg x publish2 lg sbbnya xupload pics into this blog lg..

tp rasanya nak citer what happen to me for this 24 hours..owh i think more than that..

ada yg tahu alia antara golongan wanita yg Allah uji dgn penyakit2 yg berkaitan dgn wanita...
sakit yg kita sendri xpenah minta n kita tak doa pun utk sakit itu...sambil tulis entri ni pun alia masih menahan sakit..three days pretend like nothing happen n being strong in front others..
bg sesetengah org..sakit tu biasa..sakit kanser lg sakit...sakit jantung lagi sakit...ye..alia x nafikan...sakit yg begitu mmg lebih berat ujiannya...cuma kadang2..kudrat wanita yg lemah spt alia..larat mana mampu tahan ye dak?

rsnya tahun ni kerap skali kena sakit ni...sampai kan rs masa tak tertahan sakit tu...menangis n pasang alunan zikir ustaz zulkarnain yg menenangkan tu...smbil tu ikut zikir ustaz smpailaa terlena...tapi kali ni rasanya super dooper sakit smpai 15min kene ke toilet..bygkan 20 pads tak smpai 3 jam??

this wiken supposed to be a very busy n happy wiken but turn out jadi wiken yg menyakitkan...huhu...dari hari jumaat da rs lain dah sebenarnya...ada terasa satu benda bergerak dalam perut belon ni..then rs cramp je pinggang smpai ke pagi...but as my syg said..esok xkan sakit dah..insyaAllah...so alia kuatkan laa diri utk lawan sakit...hurmm...sabtu tu ok lagi siangnya...n kebetulan all family gather at my house..so xlehlaa nak tguling2 melayan sakit nih..pg sabtu tu larat lg g ngaja boleh lagi teaching two classes without breakfast..the dlm 2pm abes class..nak balik rumah kepala dah  migrain smpai drive pun xlarat..alhamdulillah kazen tlg drive..mmg kt luar panas yg amat...so balik je trus xleh angkat kepala dah...

since appointment dgn angelz jam 4..so baring2 kejap la cari kekuatan...moga2 mgrain ni kurang...zzzz...dlm kul 4 tu alang ctc tgu along roger to come here and we supposedly had a char kew tiau time together with their husbands..but x jadi sbb along stuck in jam..huhuu..so kira ptg tu plan changed and i had to go my uncle house to prepare foods for our relatives from kelantan n ipoh..urghh..pinggang dah kebas amat..but buat x tau je..sbb keje byk..need to settle this before mgrib..cuz mlm ni nak muvie time with my sayang n others...huhu.,..tiket dah purchase awal...cuz muvie favret nih takut seat takde...owh ya...since ptg dah start da bleeding...cuma bole tahan lg sbb cam biasa nye flow..ms tgh prepare2 foods for the relatives ni..badan da sejuk panas je..tp nak buek camno...kene laa buat itu ini..dr prepare nasi impit..sate n mee n pizza smpai laa ke buat air sejuk panas..dapat arahan rasmi dari atok ksygan maka nak tak nak..kenalaa ye dak..nasibla sapa suh jadi cucu perempuan sulung..maka kenalah nk jadi bibik or mak mak or nak sedap sikit jadi perempuan melayu terakhir..huhu...

lepas dah melayan org2 yg dtg...lepas je dorg balik..alia cabut balik lepas dah siap kemas2...kena balik mandi laa kan n cari t-shirt yg selesa utk muvie..stil berdebar lg nih nak jumpa my sayang walau dah dua kali jumpa this month..wahahaa...

tgh2 siap..adib call ckp jom makan sama..owh ya..slain my sayang..muvie twilight ni alia tgk ngn the twin brother hazman n hazim...adib n his lovely gf..fisha... 6 of us..so ni bukan dating ye along!!!! since adib da ajak..so siap2 ala kadar n drive to damansara..malam ni terpaksa amek ubat sbb nak kurangkan sakit supaya xdelaa xleh nak drive...i took pills more than 3 bcoz nak bg cepat kesan( ade ke cmni)..
plan jadi berubah sbb he ask adib fisha n me to join his family dinner kt uptown..erkk...kena pegi jumpa mama abah dia dgn badan cmni? adoii...dah laa kena ceramah ngn nenek sblum kuar sbb pakai jeans n tshirt..hahaa...jadi spoil mood sguh...drive pun sesat2...sakit nyaaaa perut guee masa ni..rs cam nak balik je...but miss him so much..hukhuk...

smpai2..alia duk dkt parents my sayang n dorg tgh makan dah masa tu..perut mmg lapar..tp perut sudah sebu sbb ape tah...masa ni tgk je muka dia..hati luruh...xtau sebak je tetiba...mmg rindu sungguh agaknya..but xkan laa nak sedih2 kot dpn ramai org ni..so bersembang laa dgn parents n the twins mcm2 topic...nak makan pun rs xleh..sbb penat sesat n perut pun x best je...after they had finished their dinner, he and adib need to send his parents to puncak alam n i have to babysit his twins n fisha..hahaha..bukan babysitlaa...dorg da besar da....hahah dah dewasa da... so bsembanglaa dgn adik2 dr topic keje study n mcm2..gelak2..before tgu midnite...

ms drive ke OU...kaki kebas balik..benci tol time ni..sbb klo time drive rs bdn sakit..konfem cpt tension..nak plak klo jalan jem.,.sampai2 kami masuk trus muvie hall..n sayang sy n adib xsampai2..ms tgk muvie ni..xdpt nak concentrate sbb my stomach beberapa kali ade movement dkt dgn ovari..(ceh detail sungguh)..after muvie..makan time..makan lewat malam...n ms ni laa br dpt tgk dia puas2...yes...ms ni belakang dah sakit balik..but kena buat cam xde pape sbb xbest kuar pk sakit..ye dak..

esok pg tu..bgun tdo..haaa...bleeding lebih dr biasa......arghh....xsukaaa....bukan x suka dgn keadaan yg Allah beri..tp ;( sangat sakit........keje byk..trus xleh buat ape2..tp sempat lg laa..kuar dgn Jolly Fellow sbb kena p kenduri classmate...owh mmg xbest berjalan dlm keadaan nih..tp pk kan fifi sgt semangat nk dtg amek..so siap2 n pecut,...dah ler sesat nk ke kenduri smpai dua jam..smpai2 makan pun xlalu...byk ke toilet sbb kne check bleeding n tukar ipad..hurmmm...tp la kan..kwn2 yg sgt memahami ni..dorg ok je jalan dgn alia yg slow je jalan ni..haha..sempat lg p dua shopping mall n shopping kasut n mcm2..sakit2 pun sempat amek dua kasut favret..bak kata fifi..beli laa utk lupakan rs sakit tu..ade ke?

smpai rumah dah midnite..balik tu ingt nak tdo lepas mandi..but rs xsedap hati je tgk flow bleeding ni..so kul 2 pg cabut g hosp kt shah alam ni..n doc tahan sbb dia nak cek flow...hurm..senyap2 je pegi..hope xde sape notice..kul  2 pm td..cek out hosp sbb ckp ngn doc sy kne balik sbb nak keje..xlarat nak duk sini..mcm org sakit nak mati je rasa..(boringggggggggg ok!)

trying to call my sayang to inform him this...but no answer...hukhukk...trus pk mcm2..mmg paham dia penat driving kl-perlis n of cos sleeping is the best solution..but i really need him..need him to talk n to forget about this pain......but i cant be selfish gak kan...huhu..terus terpikir satu benda nih..i should let him go..let him go to find a better girl that can live with him normally..can take care of him n being with him all the time...not a girl like me.xkan dia nak hadap my situation every time kena camni kan? itu selfish nama nya.

should i let him go??

                  =,(

i love him so much.

ps: entri sgt panjang n serabut sbb pkrn sy serabut..physically not ok...mentally pun tak ok..